SELF-CONFIDENCE | "how do I stop hating my body?"
February 07, 2018
Wednesday the 7th of February 2018
Hating your own body is something common in the society we live in. We tend to blame this on social media projecting an idealistic image of what we 'should' look like, when in fact without social media, we would probably find some other way to criticise our figures. Someone else is always going to 'look better than us' or have features we seek to have. We look at others, whether it be in images or in real life and somehow are reminded of our insecurities and imperfections. The sad truth is that the majority of us will go through times were we feel crap about something about ourselves. We will always have one too many freckles or too big a bum, too small a bum, or don't have enough muscle, or too much fat, or our hair isn't long enough, thick enough, thin enough, our face is too round, or not round enough, our eyes are too small, or too big, our lips are too big or too small....I could go on. If you could change something about yourself, what would it be? What is the thing that holds you back from loving yourself? If you could change that thing about yourself, would you be satisfied? Or would there be something else holding you back?
The truth is, there is ALWAYS going to be something. Always. Even for that person you think is absolutely flawless, they have something they'd like to adjust, change, remove. As humans, it's like we're never satisfied. Many of us are very quick to criticise our reflection rather than appreciate what we do have. A lot of it is to do with mindset. What you believe you're expected to look like in order to be accepted as attractive. We are always seeking a change. Oh boy, it shocks me how many people will come to the gym and are so quick to tell me what they hate about themselves, it becomes an obsession. People exercise just to get a quick fix or start a low-calorie diet to lose weight FAST, we should all be looking at the bigger picture, we should be making it a lifestyle and we should be appreciating our progress.
Do we hate ourselves because loving ourselves is too cocky? Or because someone else defines us through their own gaze? "Oh, someone said I'm 'too fat', therefore I am. Someone said that I'm 'too skinny', therefore I need to change". People hold so much power over us. It is so sad that others can make us feel so sh*t about ourselves, well it's actually sad that we LET them make us feel like that. I remember when I was younger, I would overhear kids calling me 'fat', it used to hurt me, and so I HAD to change. For what? To meet their expectations of what was pretty? They had such influence. We let people influence how we define ourselves, of course, sometimes this can be great when they are singing your praises, however, if not, this can be harmful to our self-confidence. People are always going to have opinions, of EVERYONE. Some people have more harmful opinions than others, but everyone has an opinion. Not everyone is going to like everyone, no matter how kind and attractive someone is. That is life.
A lot of the time, people tear others down due to their own insecurities, so try to avoid paying too much attention to people who try to destroy your confidence. If the criticism is helpful/beneficial, take it on board...if not, let it go. Worrying about it won't do you any good.
I think one of the most important stages in improving your self-confidence is accepting that you are not perfect, nor will you ever be perfect. You need to look at yourself and realise you have a body that keeps you alive, gives you the opportunity achieve things and really is an amazing thing. Embrace the things about yourself that you can't change, and work towards changing the things that you really want to. Don't let yourself be defined by superficial things. As cheesy as it is, the type of person you are is a 100x more important (imo) than the type of person you LOOK like. Honestly.
We should learn to take and accept a compliment from others, and also to give a compliment to someone - you don't know how much that might mean to them. We need to build a society where everyone feels inspired to lead a healthy and positive lifestyle, where everyone is accepted. But...we actually have to accept ourselves. We are individuals. Unique. There is no one who is exactly like you, so please ENJOY being like you, accept yourself for who you are, be kind to yourself and others.
Ok, so I've rambled. Let's get back to the question in the title... "how do I stop hating my body?" if you truly HATE your body, the process of learning to love it is going to be challenging, but you have to start the process. You shouldn't hate your body. Be kinder to yourself and work out what steps you need to take to grow to love your body. This may be changing your diet, exercising more, exercising less, dressing differently, wearing more makeup, wearing less makeup etc.
A big thing to remember is that you shouldn't compare yourself to someone else. You can be inspired by them, yes, but you shouldn't allow for someone else to make you feel insecure or decrease your worth - that is all in your mind, they are unique humans just like you, and as previously mentioned, they have their own insecurities. Comparison to determine self-worth must end - comparison doesn't really get you anywhere! Be a kind and loving human because that is worth so much.
Just a note to say: you're lovely!
Thanks for stopping by.
Love always,
Eve
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xxx
2 comments
Oh this was such a lovely post to read - thank you for writing it so beautifully! xx
ReplyDeleteJessie | allthingsbeautiful-x
That means so much! Thanks Jess XXX
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